Staff Contributor Having a conflict with your co-parent or partner? - Start Neutral Mediation

While we may agree that an essay for college is a must-have, writing it is another thing. It can be a daunting task to write an essay. Since it is a personal statement being a divorced or single parent or a child of separated parents may make it a challenging task. There are several ways to go about it.  

 

Consult a college counselor

If you are a high school student, you should get some advice from your high school counselor on how to go about it. If you are an adult planning to go back to college, consulting an admission counselor might be a good idea. These counselors have advised dozens of students with similar backgrounds and can guide you on exactly how to go about it.

 

Another good option is to hire an essay writing service. An elder in the family, a friend, or a mentor can also help you.

 

Gather a summary of your achievements 

The secret to a successful college essay is hidden in your academic and personal achievements. In order to successfully write an essay, you should brainstorm to see what have you accomplished during the last few years and how can you relate that to your future academic success. Remember colleges are not in the business of failing students. Therefore, they are looking for students who will be successful while attending. Given that you already have gone through difficult personal circumstances, you should be able to come with a great story. Below is a list of a few things to consider:

• Reflect on the past few years and make a list of classes you did well in and the classes you didn't do so well in. Your high school transcript may be a good place to start.
• Cluster successful classes and review why you did well in these classes. See if you could have done anything to do even better.
• Cluster not-so-successful classes and review why you didn't do well in these classes and what you could have done differently to get better results.
• Were there any particular subjects which you enjoyed more than others? If yes, then why?
• Why didn't you enjoy particular subjects?
• What is it which you didn't like about them?
• Compile a list of all jobs you have done.  Write down what you liked about these jobs and what you didn't like about these jobs. Any lessons learned from work?
• Compile a list of all the volunteer work you have done. Write down why you chose to volunteer with a particular organization. Any lessons learned from the volunteer work?
• A list of sports you have played, tournaments or leagues you have played in, any awards, championships, or medals you have won.
• Compile a list of what you think are your strengths and weaknesses as a person. For example, are you a very patient person? Are you a go-getter?
• Talk to your teachers, counselors, family, and friends to compile a list of your strengths and weaknesses.
• Compile a list of any hardships you may have faced throughout your life and how you overcame them.
• Compile a list of your role models, what do you like about them and how do they inspire you?
• Last but not least make a list of career and personal goals you have for life.
• Once you have compiled a list, then see if you need to brainstorm anymore or if you can come up with a topic or discussion material for your college essay.  Feel free to look for some sample essays or talk to others to see if they have any suggestions.

 

How to select a college admission essay topic?

Now that you have a catalog of your academic and personal accomplishments and a list of career and personal goals through the brainstorming process you are ready to narrow down on an essay topic. Remember your essay is your brand and what you say in your essay should be a true reflection of who you are. The college may provide you with a topic or they may ask you to pick one and write about it. In either case, you should be ready to defend that why you picked a topic. Below are some tips on selecting the admission essay topic.

 

• Relevant - The topic should be relevant to the major your pursuing. For example, if you are applying for the Harvard Business School then your topic should be how a business person or company or a personal experience has inspired you to get into the business and how the business education from HBS can help you change the world or contribute to the society. Similarly, if you are applying for the Stanford Engineering School or MIT you might want to pick a topic such as how Google's existence in silicon valley or how the life a tech founder has inspired you to pursue a degree in computer science and engineering and how you will be able to leverage it to further the technology for human benefits.
• Reflection of Your Values - The subject of your essay should reflect your personal values. For example, if you are majoring in International Business from Yale, your essay should reflect how your education in international business will help you create new economies in the poorest of nations of the globe and transform this world into a much more harmonious place.
• Your Organizational Skills - In order to be successful in school as well as in your career you should be a well-organized individual. If you are a single parent, you can give examples of how you managed your personal and professional lives, and how you will use the same organizational skills to successfully complete college. You should select a topic for which you feel that you can comfortably organize the content. Or if you are the child of a separated couple, how do you manage to stay focused on school while babysitting your younger siblings and doing a part job to support your parent.
• Don't Overshoot - Don't jump into a topic on which you have no background. Stay in your comfort zone so that you can come across as someone who is well prepared and will be successful in the institution than someone who is half prepared.  Also, stay honest. Exaggeration can do nothing but create problems for you.
• Use Personal Experiences - While selecting a topic, use your personal experiences to decide which one you can be best at.

 

Making your essay stick

As cheesy as it may sound you need to make your essay stick so that the admission committee cannot turn you down. It is very important for you since it will cost you both the time and money. Also, if an in-person interview is required only the essay is going to make it happen for you. We have some tips for you on how to go about writing your essay which will stick:

• Who are you? - Your essay should give a true reflection of yourself where you have openly and honestly discussed your personality, achievements, challenges faced, interests, and goals. It should be free of any frivolous claims as you may be questioned during the interview. Do not be shy. Feel free to discuss your personal hardships too. 
• Why this college? - Getting into a good college can be a game-changer for your life. Therefore, in your essay, you should sincerely demonstrate your interest and how an education from this college can help you grow. The admission committee would like to make sure that you are not applying to the college because all your friends are going to be there or because your parents want you to do so.
• Your contribution to the student community? - An engaged student today is tomorrow's leader.  Colleges believe that it is their job to produce future leaders. They look for students who are willing to share their personal experiences to help grow the student community. This may be the place to share any extraordinary experiences you may have to demonstrate your leadership skills.
• Stay on the Topic - If the college has selected a topic for you make sure to stay on track and do not deviate from it.
• Start Early and Drafts - Do not start just before the deadline or on the day essay is due. Allow several days and go through several drafts. Have a family member, friend, or teacher review the drafts to see if you are being successful in sending your point across. Revise as many times as possible to nail down all the issues.
• No Cheating - Do not plagiarize, copy or rephrase someone else's essay, buy it from a third party, or have someone write it for you. You can get into trouble as there may be others who are doing the same. Some colleges even use online software to detect any violation. If caught you could be banned for life. 
• Keep it Simple - Do not make your essay very long or bulky with heavy vocabulary. Your essay should be simple and easy to read. 
• Personal Statement - If required or optionally you can also include a personal statement.

 

How to write a personal statement

Some colleges and universities ask students to write a personal statement in lieu of an admission essay. A personal statement is usually very similar to an admission essay. Just like an essay, a student may be asked to select a topic or the college may provide a topic. However, the key benefit of a personal statement is that the student might be able to leverage personal circumstances such as co-parenting hardship to gain entrance.

 

We have compiled a list of questions that you should take into consideration while writing a personal statement and some suggestions on how to answer them.

 

• What's is so unique about you - This is a touchy-feely question to give the admission committee an idea about your background. Here you can discuss your accomplishments, any hardships you faced in high school or the early years of your life, and how you overcame them. Feel free to share all the personal hardships, family problems, learning disabilities, and how you have been dealing with them. Even if you had low grades, discuss what have you been doing to improve them. The admission committees are looking for people with initiative and diversity, and by doing so you may fit the bill.
• When and how did you become interested in this field? - The idea behind this question is to demonstrate how you became interested in the field and what have you learned about it yourself. College committees like to avoid candidates who want to switch majors in the final year or do not want to practice medicine after becoming a doctor. You can discuss any personal experiences, role models, classes, readings, seminars, work, and any other source which got you interested in the field and how you learned more about it.
• What are your career goals? - The idea behind this question is to demonstrate that you have thought through your career options. Here you can discuss any internships you may have done, any part-time work, or any volunteer work which may have helped you gain your career-relevant skills. This kind of serious demonstration can help you set yourself apart from other students even if you have lower grades.
• Anything else? - Anything else which you feel that the admission committee shall know about you should be discussed.

 

To summarize, writing a college essay is an art. Do not hesitate to discuss your personal circumstances. If you are a divorced or separated parent or child of the one you can use it to your leverage to gain admission. Such circumstances put you in the same class as ethnic and religious minority students or LGBT students. Personal hardships build character and your college essay can demonstrate that.   

Warning:  This post is neither financial, health, legal, or personal advice nor a substitute for the advice offered by a professional. These are serious matters, and the help of a professional is recommended as it can impact your future.