Co-Parenting with a Controlling Ex

Michael J. Peterson, Attorney Having a conflict with your co-parent or partner? - Start Neutral Mediation

Co-parenting can be challenging when you have to co-parent with a controlling ex. A controlling ex is someone who tries to exert excessive control over your life, even after your relationship has ended. This can manifest in a variety of ways, such as:

Trying to control your finances
Trying to control where you live
Trying to control who you see
Trying to control how you raise your children

If you're co-parenting with a controlling ex, it's important to remember that you're not alone. Millions of parents go through this every year. And there are steps you can take to protect yourself and your children.

1. Set boundaries

The first step to co-parenting with a controlling ex is to set boundaries. This means establishing clear rules about what is and isn't acceptable behavior. For example, you might want to tell your ex that you will not tolerate name-calling, threats, or attempts to control your finances.

It's important to be clear and firm when setting boundaries. Don't be afraid to stand up for yourself and your children. If your ex tries to cross a boundary, don't back down.

2. Communicate in writing

It's also important to communicate with your ex in writing whenever possible. This will create a paper trail of your interactions, which can be helpful if you ever need to go to court.

When you do communicate with your ex, be clear, concise, and respectful. Avoid getting into arguments or trying to change your ex's mind. Your goal is to simply communicate the information that needs to be communicated.

3. Get help from a mediator

If you're having trouble co-parenting with your ex, you may want to consider getting help from a mediator. A mediator is a neutral third party who can help you and your ex communicate and come to agreements about co-parenting.

Mediation can be a helpful way to resolve disputes and improve communication. It can also help you and your ex to develop a co-parenting plan that works for everyone involved.

4. Seek professional help

If you're struggling to cope with the stress of co-parenting with a controlling ex, you may want to seek professional help. A therapist can help you to develop coping mechanisms and strategies for dealing with your ex.

Co-parenting with a controlling ex can be difficult, but it's important to remember that you're not alone. There are steps you can take to protect yourself and your children. By setting boundaries, communicating in writing, getting help from a mediator, and seeking professional help, you can make co-parenting with a controlling ex a little bit easier.

Here are some additional tips for co-parenting with a controlling ex:

Don't bad-mouth your ex in front of your children. This will only make them feel confused and conflicted.
Don't try to turn your children against your ex. This is a form of emotional abuse and it will only damage your children in the long run.
Be consistent with your parenting. This will help your children feel secure and grounded.
Don't be afraid to ask for help from your family and friends. They can offer you support and encouragement during this difficult time.

Co-parenting with a controlling ex can be challenging, but it's important to remember that you're not alone. By following these tips, you can create a healthy and positive co-parenting relationship for your children.

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Warning: This post is neither financial, health, legal, or personal advice nor a substitute for the advice offered by a professional. These are serious matters, and the help of a professional is recommended as it can impact your future.

Co-parent with confidence