Co-parenting with a Gaslighter
Michael J. Peterson, Attorney
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Gaslighting is a form of psychological abuse in which the abuser tries to manipulate the victim into questioning their own reality. This can be done through a variety of methods, such as denying that something happened, lying, or making the victim feel like they are crazy.
Gaslighting can be very damaging to the victim, both emotionally and psychologically. It can make them feel isolated, confused, and powerless. It can also make it difficult for them to trust their own judgment, which can have a negative impact on their relationships, their work, and their overall well-being.
If you are co-parenting with a gaslighter, it is important to be aware of the signs of gaslighting and to take steps to protect yourself and your children.
Signs of Gaslighting
- The gaslighter denies that something happened. Even if there is clear evidence that something happened, the gaslighter will deny it. They may say that you are misremembering, or that you are making things up.
- The gaslighter lies. The gaslighter may lie about small things, such as what they had for breakfast, or they may lie about big things, such as their financial situation or their past relationships.
- The gaslighter makes the victim feel like they are crazy. The gaslighter may say things like, "You're imagining things," or "You're overreacting." They may also make the victim feel like they are the one who is crazy or the one who is causing the problems.
- The gaslighter is emotionally abusive. The gaslighter may use insults, put-downs, or threats to control the victim. They may also try to isolate the victim from their friends and family.
- The gaslighter is controlling. The gaslighter may try to control the victim's finances, their schedule, or their social life. They may also try to control the victim's thoughts and feelings.
How to Protect Yourself from Gaslighting
- Document everything. If you think you are being gaslighted, it is important to document everything. This includes keeping a journal of the incidents, saving emails and text messages, and recording phone calls.
- Don't argue with the gaslighter. Trying to argue with a gaslighter will only make things worse. They will simply deny what you are saying and make you feel like you are crazy.
- Set boundaries. It is important to set boundaries with the gaslighter. This means telling them what you will and will not tolerate. It also means enforcing those boundaries.
- Get support. It is important to have a support system in place if you are co-parenting with a gaslighter. This could include friends, family, a therapist, or a support group.
- Seek professional help. If you are struggling to cope with the gaslighting, it is important to seek professional help. A therapist can help you to develop coping mechanisms and to protect yourself from further abuse.
Co-parenting with a gaslighter can be very challenging, but it is important to remember that you are not alone. There are resources available to help you, and you can get through this.
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Warning:
This post is neither financial, health, legal, or personal advice nor a substitute for the advice offered by a professional. These are serious matters, and the help of a professional is recommended as it can impact your future.
