Michael J. Peterson, Attorney

Schedule Overview: First and Third Extended Weekends

Schedule Specifics

• Weekend visits: The child spends the first and third full weekends of each month (Friday evening to Monday morning) with one parent.
• Midweek visits: The child spends one evening (e.g., Wednesday night) with the other parent during the week following their weekend visit.
• Holidays and vacations: Specific arrangements for holidays and vacations are usually agreed upon separately, often mirroring the general schedule structure.

 

Visual Representation

Month 1

Day	Parent A	Parent B
1st-5th	School	School
6th (Friday)	Weekend Start	School
7th-9th	Weekend	School
10th (Monday)	Weekend End	School
11th-17th	School	School
18th (Wednesday)	Midweek Visit	School
19th-31st	School	School

Month 2

Day	Parent A	Parent B
1st-3rd	School	School
4th (Friday)	Weekend Start	School
5th-7th	Weekend	School
8th (Monday)	Weekend End	School
9th-15th	School	School
16th (Wednesday)	Midweek Visit	School
17th-28th	School	School

 

Comparison to Other Schedules

Schedule	Description	Similarities	Differences
Every Other Weekend	Child spends weekends with one parent, alternating weeks.	Predictable weekend blocks	Shorter weekend visits, more frequent transitions
Weekly Overnight	Child spends one night per week with the other parent.	Regular overnight visits	Less focused weekend time, more transitions
Nested Schedule	Child spends weekdays with one parent and weekends with the other.	Extended weekday time	Less weekend time together, potential for logistical challenges

 

Child-Focused Advantages: Cultivating Stability and Meaningful Moments

Adopting the co-parenting rhythm of the First and Third Extended Weekend schedule brings forth numerous benefits for your child, fostering an atmosphere of stability, quality time, and concentrated attention.

Stability and Predictability

• Alleviated Anxiety and Stress: The predictability of the schedule's routine offers a shield of security and ease for the child.
• Smoother Transitions: Infrequent handovers between parents minimize disruptions, enabling the child to maintain equilibrium in their daily life and emotional well-being.
• Enhanced Focus and Concentration: Consistent routines allow the child to settle into their surroundings, directing their attention toward school, activities, and personal pursuits.

 

Quality Time and Deeper Bonds

• Extended Uninterrupted Interaction: Longer weekend visits create numerous opportunities for meaningful conversations, shared experiences, and the cultivation of stronger bonds with each parent.
• Individualized Attention: Dedicated time with each parent allows for personalized focus, addressing the child's unique needs and interests.
• Greater Opportunities for Traditions: Extended weekends empower each parent to establish distinctive traditions and rituals, enriching the child's life with diverse experiences.

 

Focused Attention and Uninterrupted Activities

• Deeper Exploration of Interests: Extended periods with each parent facilitate in-depth exploration of hobbies, sports, or creative activities that bring the child joy.
• Reduced Scheduling Conflicts: Fewer transitions alleviate the need to juggle multiple activities, providing more time for focused learning and development.
• Increased Opportunities for Meaningful Conversations: Longer blocks of time naturally create more opportunities for open and deeper conversations on personal matters or important topics.

 

Addressing Concerns

• Shorter Midweek Visits: While shorter, midweek visits offer a chance for brief connections and maintain a sense of regular presence in the child's life.
• Adjusting to Different Environments: Open communication and consistency in routines across households play a crucial role in helping children adapt to varying environments and expectations.

 

In summary, the First and Third Extended Weekend co-parenting schedule establishes a positive framework for children to flourish. The stability, quality time, and focused attention intrinsic to this arrangement significantly contribute to their emotional well-being, personal growth, and the development of robust relationships with both parents.

 

Parental Benefits: Enhanced Flexibility, Stress Reduction, and Self-Care Opportunities

The co-parenting framework of the First and Third Extended Weekend schedule offers a multitude of advantages for parents, fostering enhanced flexibility, stress reduction, and avenues for self-care.

 

Flexibility and Autonomy

• Greater Control Over Personal Time: Extended, uninterrupted time blocks empower parents to manage work, appointments, and personal pursuits without conflicting commitments.
• Enhanced Adaptability for Work: This schedule accommodates various work schedules, including those with irregular hours or travel demands.
• Improved Work-Life Balance: Clear schedule divisions provide dedicated time for both professional responsibilities and personal well-being.

 

Reduced Stress and Conflict

• Minimized Transitions: Reducing handoffs between parents simplifies logistical complexities, diminishing the potential for conflicts arising from scheduling discrepancies or miscommunication.
• Enhanced Communication: The predictable schedule fosters open and effective communication between parents, promoting collaboration on child-related matters.
• Diminished Pressure and Anxiety: Knowing that the child is well-cared for by the other parent allows for relaxation and stress reduction during solo parenting periods.

 

Extended Solo Parenting Time for Self-Care and Personal Pursuits

• Allocated Time for Personal Growth and Well-being: Extended solo periods facilitate engagement in self-care activities, hobbies, and the pursuit of personal interests.
• Opportunity for Emotional Recharge: Uninterrupted time enables parents to address their own needs and emotionally recharge, leading to enhanced mental health and overall well-being.
• Fostering Individual Identities: Dedicated time for individual pursuits nurtures personal development and a sense of self-fulfillment outside of the parenting role.

Addressing Potential Challenges

• Extended Gaps Between Visits: While posing challenges for some parents, longer gaps can be managed through regular communication, phone calls, and video chats.
• Maintaining Consistency Across Households: Open communication and clear agreements regarding routines and expectations ensure consistency and minimize potential disruptions for the child.

 

In conclusion, the First and Third Extended Weekend schedule provides parents with a structured framework to attain a healthier balance between their parenting responsibilities, individual needs, and personal aspirations. The flexibility, stress reduction, and opportunities for self-care empower parents to cultivate their best selves, ultimately benefiting both them and their children.

 

Managing the Logistics

While the First and Third Extended Weekend schedule provides numerous advantages, its effective implementation relies on thoughtful planning and clear communication to guarantee a seamless and positive experience for all parties involved. Let's delve into crucial logistical considerations:

 

Coordinating Transportation and Schedules

• Employ digital calendars and scheduling apps: Share a common platform to monitor schedules, synchronize pick-up and drop-off times, and prevent conflicts effectively.
• Plan transportation in advance: Discuss and arrange transportation details for each visit, ensuring the child's safe and reliable transit.
• Embrace flexibility and adaptability: Anticipate occasional adjustments due to unforeseen circumstances and maintain open communication to address any logistical challenges.

 

Managing Activities and Extracurricular Involvement

• Stay in communication with teachers and coaches: Inform them of the co-parenting schedule to maintain consistency and avoid scheduling conflicts.
• Coordinate involvement in activities: Discuss the child's participation in various activities with each parent and communicate any changes in enrollment or schedules.
• Prioritize continuity and consistency: Ensure uniformity in rules and expectations across households to minimize confusion and uphold a stable routine for the child.

 

Communication and Collaboration Tools

• Leverage digital tools: Utilize co-parenting apps, shared online documents, and messaging platforms to enhance communication and streamline information sharing.
• Establish transparent communication protocols: Define preferred communication methods, expected response times, and guidelines for sharing updates and information.
• Regularly discuss and review child-related matters: Schedule periodic discussions or check-ins to address concerns, provide feedback, and ensure both parents remain aligned.

 

Financial Considerations and Legal Aspects

• Review child support arrangements: Discuss and modify child support payments as needed based on the extended weekend schedule.
• Track expenses and equitably share costs: Develop a system for tracking shared expenses related to the child's needs and activities, ensuring fair cost distribution.
• Seek legal counsel if necessary: Consult with a legal professional to ensure that the co-parenting agreement accurately reflects the chosen schedule and addresses any legal considerations or inquiries.

 

Success Tips

With its distinctive structure, the First and Third Extended Weekend co-parenting schedule demands proactive effort and efficient communication to prosper. Let's explore strategies and resources to tailor this schedule to your family:

 

Communication and Collaboration

• Engage in active listening and empathy: Acknowledge concerns and perspectives, finding solutions together and promoting understanding.
• Promote open and honest communication: Regularly discuss child-related matters, promptly addressing concerns with respect and transparency.
• Establish clear expectations and boundaries: Define communication ground rules, including preferred methods, response times, and information sharing protocols.
• Leverage communication tools: Utilize technology through co-parenting apps, shared calendars, and online platforms for efficient communication and documentation of decisions.

 

Managing Extended Solo Parenting Periods

• Develop a routine and structure: Set consistent routines for each extended solo parenting period, encompassing meals, activities, and sleep schedules.
• Prioritize self-care: Schedule personal time for activities, hobbies, and relaxation to safeguard emotional well-being and prevent burnout.
• Build support systems: Cultivate a network of friends, family, or co-parents for emotional support and childcare assistance when needed.
• Utilize scheduling and logistics tools: Employ online calendars, shared documents, and to-do lists to stay organized and manage responsibilities effectively.

 

Maintaining Consistency across Households

• Establish clear guidelines and expectations: Agree upon consistent rules, expectations, and consequences for behavior across both households.
• Regular communication: Discuss changes in routines, expectations, or communication methods to maintain consistency and avoid confusion for the child.
• Share information about activities and schoolwork: Keep each other informed about the child's activities, schoolwork, and crucial developments for continuity across environments.
• Focus on positive reinforcement and communication: Encourage open communication with the child, addressing concerns or anxieties they may have about different households.

 

Addressing Concerns with Your Child

• Create a safe space for open communication: Encourage your child to express feelings and concerns about the schedule, providing validation and reassurance.
• Listen actively and offer support: Avoid dismissing concerns, attentively listen, and offer emotional support and guidance.
• Maintain consistency in responses: Ensure both parents present a united front when addressing the child's concerns, promoting consistency and avoiding confusion.
• Utilize resources and support: Seek guidance from a child therapist or counselor if needed to help your child adjust to the co-parenting schedule.

 

Tools and Resources for Management

• Co-parenting apps: Utilize apps like Cent for communication, shared calendars, expense tracking, and information sharing.
• Online resources: Explore websites like Co-Parenting International, Custody X Change, and the National Healthy Marriage Resource Center for valuable information, tools, and support for co-parenting families.
• Financial tools: Utilize budgeting apps to manage shared expenses and track individual contributions.
• Legal guidance: Consult with a family law attorney to ensure your co-parenting agreement accurately reflects the chosen schedule and addresses any legal or financial concerns.

 

Remember, the success of the First and Third Extended Weekend schedule relies on effective communication, collaboration, and a commitment to supporting each other as parents. By using available tools and resources, addressing challenges proactively, and prioritizing open communication, you can create a positive and stable environment for your child to thrive.

 

Conclusion

The conclusion emphasizes the unique advantages of the First and Third Extended Weekend co-parenting schedule, offering a balance between quality time with the child and individual flexibility. It highlights key benefits, such as extended parent-child bonding, reduced stress, flexibility for parents, and stability for the child. Acknowledging potential challenges, the conclusion underscores the importance of open communication, effective logistics management, and maintaining consistency across households. Success with this schedule is contingent on communication, flexibility, and commitment, with a shared dedication to making it work. The paragraph encourages individuals to evaluate whether the schedule aligns with their specific needs and circumstances, considering factors like the child's age and preferences. Ultimately, the decision should be made through open discussions with the co-parent, keeping in mind that communication, flexibility, and commitment are essential for the success of any co-parenting arrangement.

 

Other Custody Schedules

 

Typical 50/50 Custody Schedules

• Alternating Weeks - 50%
• Extended Weekends - 50%
• 2-2-3 Custody - 50%
• 2-2-5-5 Custody - 50%
• 2 Weeks Each - 50%
• Alternating 2 Days - 50%
• 3-4-4-3 Days - 50%

 

Popular Summer Custody Schedules

• Full time entire summer, alternate weekends and one overnight per week during fall, spring and winter - 39%
• Entire summer, alternate weekends, and one evening per week - 30%
• Every other weekend, one overnight per week, one month during the summer, and half the holidays - 29%
• Every other weekend, one evening/week, four summer weeks and half the holidays - 28%
• Every other weekend, one month during summer and half of the holidays - 23%
• First, third and fith extended weekend  - 24
• Every other weekend and half the holidays and summer - 22%
• Every other weekend, four weeks of summer and half the holidays - 21%
• Every other weekend, two weeks during the summer and half the holidays - 19%
• Every other weekend and two weeks during the summer - 18%
• 2 Weeks only during the summer break - 4%

 

Popular Weekend Parenting Arrangements

• Every other extended weekend and one overnight per week - 36%
• Every other extended weekend and one evening per week - 28%
• Every other weekend, half of the school vacation, one evening/week when school in session - 28%
• Every other weekend and one overnight per week - 28%
• Every other weekend  and one evening per week - 21%
• First and third extended weekend of every month - 21%
• Every other extended weekend - 21%
• Two extended weekends per month - 20%
• One overnight and one extended weekend per week - 19%
• First, third and fifth weekend - 15%
• Ever Other Weekend - 14%
• One weekend per month and one evening per week - 14%
• Two weekends per month - 13%
• One extended weekend per month - 10% (Aka 90/10 schedule)
• One weekend per month - 7%

Warning:  This post is neither financial, health, legal, or personal advice nor a substitute for the advice offered by a professional. These are serious matters, and the help of a professional is recommended as it can impact your future.