Michael J. Peterson, Attorney Having a conflict with your co-parent or partner? - Start Neutral Mediation

 

Example of First, Third, and Fifth Extended Weekends Custody Schedule

Assumptions:

• Parent 1 and Parent 2 have two children, Alex and Sarah.
• The children are school-aged.
• Both parents live within a reasonable distance of each other.
• School weeks start on Monday and end on Friday.

Weekend Schedule:

• First Weekend of the Month:
  • Friday after school: Parent 1 picks up Alex and Sarah.
  • Weekend: Parent 1 spends time with Alex and Sarah, participating in activities and routines as agreed upon.
  • Monday morning: Parent 1 drops off Alex and Sarah at school.
• Third Weekend of the Month:
  • Friday after school: Parent 2 picks up Alex and Sarah.
  • Weekend: Parent 2 spends time with Alex and Sarah, participating in activities and routines as agreed upon.
  • Monday morning: Parent 2 drops off Alex and Sarah at school.
• Fifth Weekend of the Month:
  • Friday after school: Parent 1 picks up Alex and Sarah.
  • Weekend: Parent 1 spends time with Alex and Sarah, participating in activities and routines as agreed upon.
  • Monday morning: Parent 1 drops off Alex and Sarah at school.

Summer Schedule:

• Parent 1 and Parent 2 agree on a timeframe within the summer months where one parent will have the children for an extended period (e.g., 2 weeks).
• The remaining summer weeks are divided into extended weekends following the same schedule as the rest of the year.

Holiday Schedule:

• Major holidays (e.g., Christmas Day, Thanksgiving):
  • Parent 1 and Parent 2 alternate years for spending the entire holiday with the children.
  • During the non-custodial parent's year, they have the children for the morning/afternoon of the holiday.
• Minor holidays (e.g., Father's Day, Mother's Day):
  • Parent 1 and Parent 2 each choose 3 minor holidays per year to spend with the children.

 

Unlocking Flexibility and Stability: Benefits of the "First, Third, and Fifth Extended Weekends" Schedule

1. Flexibility and Adaptability: Unlike rigid schedules, the "First, Third, and Fifth Extended Weekends" arrangement can be easily adjusted to accommodate evolving needs and circumstances. This adaptability makes it suitable for diverse family situations, whether it's catering to changes in work schedules, accommodating school holidays, or planning special events. The flexibility allows both parents and the child to experience a sense of control and ownership over their schedule, fostering a more positive and cooperative environment.
2. Extended Quality Time: One of the significant benefits of this schedule is the opportunity for extended periods of quality time with each parent. By spending uninterrupted weekends together, parents can create unique experiences, pursue shared interests, and build stronger bonds with their children. This uninterrupted time allows for deeper conversations, more meaningful interactions, and the creation of cherished memories that will last a lifetime.
3. Consistent Contact: While extended weekends provide valuable quality time, regular contact through alternate weekends remains crucial for a healthy parent-child relationship. This schedule ensures consistent participation in the child's daily life, fostering a strong emotional connection and sense of security. Additionally, it allows parents to stay involved in their child's routines, school activities, and extracurricular pursuits, maintaining a sense of normalcy and stability.
4. Personal Time and Space: The schedule also recognizes the importance of personal time for both parents. By having dedicated periods where they are not responsible for childcare, parents can prioritize their own well-being, pursue individual interests, and engage in self-care activities. This time for personal growth and renewal allows them to return to their parenting roles feeling refreshed, energized, and more present in their interactions with their child.

 

Building a Strong Foundation: Strategies for Success with the "First, Third, and Fifth Extended Weekends" Schedule

1. Detailed Schedule and Plan: To ensure smooth implementation and address potential challenges, creating a detailed schedule outlining expectations, communication channels, and contingency plans is crucial. This schedule should include specific details about transitions, transportation arrangements, activity plans, and communication protocols for unexpected situations. Having a clear and comprehensive plan fosters a sense of organization, reduces anxieties, and promotes a sense of security for both parents and the child.
2. Open and Honest Communication: Regular and open communication is vital for navigating the complexities of this schedule. Parents should encourage honest conversations to address concerns, discuss challenges, and collaboratively find solutions. Sharing updates on the child's well-being, discussing upcoming transitions, and proactively planning for potential issues can strengthen the co-parenting relationship and promote a sense of teamwork.
3. Focusing on the Child's Needs: Throughout the planning and implementation of this schedule, prioritizing the child's well-being and emotional needs is paramount. Parents should actively listen to their child's concerns, address their anxieties, and provide necessary support during transitions. Ensuring their emotional needs are met, both during extended and alternate weekend visits, fosters a sense of security and helps them adjust to the new routine.
4. Maintaining Routines: Establishing consistent routines and expectations during both extended and alternate weekend visits provides the child with a sense of structure and predictability, which is crucial for their emotional well-being and development. Maintaining consistent rules, discipline approaches, and bedtime routines across both environments helps the child feel secure and minimizes adjustment challenges during transitions.
5. Seeking Professional Support: If needed, seeking guidance from a therapist or counselor can be beneficial for both parents and the child. Therapists can provide support in navigating the emotional complexities of co-parenting, developing effective communication strategies, and addressing any challenges the child may face during transitions or adjustments. By proactively seeking professional assistance, parents can equip themselves with the tools and resources necessary to navigate this new schedule successfully and ensure the child's emotional well-being.

 

Building a Strong Co-parenting Foundation: Essential Tips for Success

Effective co-parenting with the "First, Third, and Fifth Extended Weekends" schedule requires ongoing commitment and effort from both parents. Here are some essential tips:

1. Respectful Communication: Even during disagreements, maintain clear and respectful communication, avoiding blame and focusing on collaborative solutions. Listen actively to each other's concerns, express your own perspectives constructively, and work together to find mutually agreeable solutions.
2. Celebrating Successes: Celebrate your child's achievements together, regardless of which parent they are with. This demonstrates a united front and fosters a positive family environment where the child feels supported and loved by both parents. Celebrate milestones, achievements, and special events together, creating lasting memories and reinforcing the importance of family.
3. Flexibility and Compromise: Be willing to adapt the schedule as needed to accommodate unforeseen circumstances, individual needs, and special occasions. This flexibility demonstrates understanding and encourages cooperation, fostering a positive co-parenting relationship. Discuss changes openly and reach mutually agreeable decisions to minimize disruptions and ensure everyone feels heard and respected.
4. Maintaining Openness: Encourage your child to express their feelings and concerns about the schedule openly and honestly. Provide a safe space for them to discuss anxieties, ask questions, and share their experiences freely. Actively listen to their concerns, validate their feelings, and offer reassurance and support. This open communication fosters trust and allows you to address any challenges they might be facing in adjusting to the new schedule.

 

Conclusion

The "First, Third, and Fifth Extended Weekends" custody schedule provides a unique co-parenting approach, balancing regular interaction with extended periods for deeper connection. Despite challenges, such as logistical coordination and emotional adjustments, the potential benefits include consistent contact, quality time, and personal space for both parents and the child. Tailoring the schedule to each family's needs is crucial for successful implementation, emphasizing open communication, a focus on the child's well-being, and flexibility. Seeking legal and professional guidance is recommended to ensure compliance with legal requirements and address complexities. Professional support can help navigate the emotional aspects of co-parenting, aiding both parents and the child in adjusting to the new schedule. Successful co-parenting ultimately requires dedication, collaboration, and a shared commitment to prioritize the well-being of the child.

 

Other Custody Schedules

 

Typical 50/50 Custody Schedules

• Alternating Weeks - 50%
• Extended Weekends - 50%
• 2-2-3 Custody - 50%
• 2-2-5-5 Custody - 50%
• 2 Weeks Each - 50%
• Alternating 2 Days - 50%
• 3-4-4-3 Days - 50%

 

Popular Summer Custody Schedules

• Full time entire summer, alternate weekends and one overnight per week during fall, spring and winter - 39%
• Entire summer, alternate weekends, and one evening per week - 30%
• Every other weekend, one overnight per week, one month during the summer, and half the holidays - 29%
• Every other weekend, one evening/week, four summer weeks and half the holidays - 28%
• Every other weekend, one month during summer and half of the holidays - 23%
• First, third and fith extended weekend  - 24
• Every other weekend and half the holidays and summer - 22%
• Every other weekend, four weeks of summer and half the holidays - 21%
• Every other weekend, two weeks during the summer and half the holidays - 19%
• Every other weekend and two weeks during the summer - 18%
• 2 Weeks only during the summer break - 4%

 

Popular Weekend Parenting Arrangements

• Every other extended weekend and one overnight per week - 36%
• Every other extended weekend and one evening per week - 28%
• Every other weekend, half of the school vacation, one evening/week when school in session - 28%
• Every other weekend and one overnight per week - 28%
• Every other weekend  and one evening per week - 21%
• First and third extended weekend of every month - 21%
• Every other extended weekend - 21%
• Two extended weekends per month - 20%
• One overnight and one extended weekend per week - 19%
• First, third and fifth weekend - 15%
• Ever Other Weekend - 14%
• One weekend per month and one evening per week - 14%
• Two weekends per month - 13%
• One extended weekend per month - 10% (Aka 90/10 schedule)
• One weekend per month - 7%

Warning:  This post is neither financial, health, legal, or personal advice nor a substitute for the advice offered by a professional. These are serious matters, and the help of a professional is recommended as it can impact your future.