Michael J. Peterson, Attorney Having a conflict with your co-parent or partner? - Start Neutral Mediation

How to Make a Shared Custody Schedule?

There are several ways to make a joint custody schedule:

• Have an attorney draft a joint custody schedule.
• Have a family mediator draft a joint custody schedule.
• Work with your co-parent to draft a joint custody schedule.

Unless it is a no-contest divorce both parents or their attorneys will present the parenting time schedule for court approval. Once approved by a judge, it will be a legally binding document.

 

Primary Residence Requirement

A primary residence is where the custodial parent and children will stay. This address goes on all records including academic and healthcare. Children's schools will also be determined based on the primary residence address. Co-parents are required to set a primary residence even if both have equal custody (e.g. 50-50 custody). If children spend more time (e.g. 60-40, 70-30, 80-20, or 90-10) with one parent, then that automatically becomes the primary residence. However, if one parent lives in a better school district or near better healthcare facilities, then their address can be used as the primary residence despite spending lesser time with the children.

 

Best Co-parenting Schedule: Side-by-Side Comparison of Common Custody Schedules

Selecting the best co-parenting schedule is a pivotal decision that requires careful consideration of various factors to ensure the well-being of the child and the effectiveness of the co-parenting relationship. Key elements to weigh include the child's age, school schedule, extracurricular activities, and individual needs, as well as the geographical proximity of the parents. The chosen schedule should provide stability, consistency, and ample opportunities for both parents to be actively involved in the child's life. Flexibility is crucial, allowing for adjustments as the child grows and circumstances change. Effective communication between co-parents is paramount, fostering collaboration and shared decision-making. Understanding the unique dynamics of each family and the specific needs of the child will ultimately guide the selection of a co-parenting schedule that creates a supportive and nurturing environment, facilitating a positive and healthy upbringing for the child.  Below is a side by side comparison of 5 common custody arrangements to help you select the best co-parenting schedule.

 

Feature	50/50 Custody	60/40 Custody	70/30 Custody	80/20 Custody	90/10 Custody
Time Allocation	Each parent has 50% of the time.	One parent has 60% of the time, the other parent has 40% of the time.	One parent has 70% of the time, the other parent has 30% of the time.	One parent has 80% of the time, the other parent has 20% of the time.	One parent has 90% of the time, the other parent has 10% of the time.
Potential Benefits for Children	Equal time with both parents. Strong bonds with both parents. Reduced conflict exposure. Predictable routine and stability.	More time with one parent while still maintaining a strong bond with the other. Predictable routine with the primary parent. Reduced stress of frequent transitions.	Majority of time with one parent provides stability and consistency. Strong bond with the primary parent. Reduced conflict exposure.	Predictable routine and stability with the primary parent. Strong bond with the primary parent. Less time spent transitioning between homes.	Strong bond with the primary parent. Limited exposure to potential conflict between parents.
Potential Benefits for Parents	Equal responsibility and decision-making. More individual time for work, hobbies, and self-care. Reduced financial burden of maintaining two households.	More time for nurturing the parent-child bond. Greater flexibility in scheduling personal activities. Potential for financial savings due to less frequent transitions.	Dedicated individual time for work, hobbies, and self-care. Improved communication and collaboration with the other parent. Reduced potential for conflict due to clear boundaries and transitions.	Dedicated individual time for work, hobbies, and self-care. Clear boundaries and routines minimize potential for conflict. More stability and routine in personal life.	Minimal time commitment allows for greater flexibility and individual pursuits. Reduced potential for conflict with the other parent. Limited financial responsibility for child's expenses.
Potential Challenges	Frequent transitions can be disruptive for children and parents. Financial considerations for maintaining two households. Emotional strain of balancing individual needs, parenting, and co-parenting. Child's adjustment to a new routine and divided time.	Less time with the child for the secondary parent. Can be challenging to maintain consistency in parenting styles. Requires clear communication and coordination between parents to avoid conflict.	Less time with the child for the secondary parent. Can be difficult for the child to adjust to spending less time with one parent. Requires clear communication and coordination between parents to ensure consistency.	Less time with the child for the secondary parent. Requires clear communication and coordination between parents to maintain a positive relationship with the child.	Limited time with the child may make it difficult to maintain a strong bond. Requires significant effort from the primary parent to manage all aspects of the child's life. Potential for conflict with the other parent over visitation arrangements.
Considerations	Child's age and developmental stage. Family dynamics and living arrangements. Individual needs and preferences of both parents and the child. Financial resources and ability to maintain two households.	Child's age and developmental needs. Family dynamics and potential for conflict. Financial situation of both parents. Individual preferences and desired level of involvement in the child's life.	Child's age and developmental needs. Family dynamics and potential for conflict. Financial situation of both parents. Individual needs and preferences of both parents and the child.	Child's age and developmental needs. Family dynamics and potential for conflict. Financial situation of both parents. Individual needs and preferences of both parents and the child.	Child's age and emotional stability. Family dynamics and potential for conflict. Financial situation of both parents. Individual needs and preferences of both parents and the child. Court order or legal agreement may dictate the specific arrangement.

 

Parenting Time Requirement

Most judges like to approve a standard custody schedule template for both parents as long as both parents mutually agree to it. However, in some cases, a co-parent may feel differently. For example, if one of the co-parents travels through the week for business then a 50-50 custody schedule will not make any sense for them as they won't be able to spend time with the children. In that case, a family court can decide what is in the best interest of the children.

 

The time approved by the court in your joint custody schedule is a legally binding agreement. Neither of the co-parents can deny the other visitation rights unless there are some legal grounds for it. As a matter of fact, some jurisdictions can require each parent to spend a certain amount of time to be considered for joint custody.  

 

Avoid Child Randomization

A shared custody schedule can easily randomize children and confuse them, thus hurting their morale and productivity. However, co-parents can pick fixed days with exceptions for birthdays, holidays, and vacations to provide more stability to their kids.

 

Residental Schedule

A residential schedule defines the days and residences where children will live with each co-parent. For the residential schedule, each parent should have a permanent residence. Transient residences such as an Air B&B or a hotel are not acceptable. A grandparent's or relative's home that a parent uses as her/his legal address qualifies but then the children have to stay at the address during the visit.

 

Holiday Custody Schedule

A custody schedule must include with whom children will be spending their time on a holiday. A holiday schedule is an exception to the residential custody schedule. Most parents alternate every year for the holidays. For example, in odd years children will spend Christmas with dad and with mom in the even years, or in the odd years, children will spend Thanksgiving with mom and with dad in the even years. A holiday schedule ideally would cover the entire long weekend with one parent. Below is a list of the holidays that parents may need to decide on:

• Federal Holidays
• State Holidays
• Religious Holidays (e.g. Baisakhi, Christmas, Diwali, Eid, Hanuka)

A holiday custody schedule shall also include a communication plan so that if required parents can contact each other or speak to their children.

 

Personal Day Custody Schedule 

A personal day custody schedule describes with whom children will be spending time on special occasions such as birthdays, father's day, mother's day, mom and dad's birthdays, and weddings. If it is a child's birth would both parents will be allowed at the birthday party or can both parents take the child out for some activities. Just like the holiday custody schedule, the personal day custody schedule is also an exception to the residential schedule.

 

Vacation Custody Schedule

Ideally, each parent would like to take their children on a vacation a few times a year if they can afford it. It will be an uninterrupted and extended period spent with one of the parents, most likely out of town. Parents can agree at the beginning of every year about the tentative vacation schedules with their children. Most parents will take alternating years for different time slots during the year. For example, in the even years, dad may take kids to the spring vacation and in the odd mom may take kids to the spring vacation. Just like the holiday and personal day custody schedules, the vacation schedule is also an exception to the residential custody schedule.

 

How to Schedule Repetitive Custody Schedules?

You can use a digital calendar such as Cent, Google Calendar or Outlook Calendar for scheduling. A visual calendar with reminders is a great way to manage your children's time spent by both families. They will also meet the court's requirements. Please speak to your lawyer to determine if it is acceptable in your jurisdiction.

 

List of Schedule Types

• 50-50 Custody Schedule
• 55-45 Custody Schedule
• 60-40 Custody Schedule
• 65-35 Custody Schedule
• 70-30 Custody Schedule
• 75-25 Cusotdy Schedule
• 80-20 Custody Schedule
• 90-10 Custody Schedule
• Non-Custodial Parent Holiday Visitation Schedule
• Co-parenting Holiday Schedule
• Co-parent Scheduling Tips

Warning:  This post is neither financial, health, legal, or personal advice nor a substitute for the advice offered by a professional. These are serious matters, and the help of a professional is recommended as it can impact your future.