John Douglas, JD, Staff Contributor Co-parent with confidence by using our Free Co-parenting App - Start Now

Moms Should Request Access To Kids

Every mother has the natural right to be with her child. If your ex-husband has denied access to her kids, she should request it in writing. You can do it via certified mail with a return receipt, email, or text message. Your attorney can also request access on your behalf. Unless the judge has issued a no-contact order, you should get access to your children.

 

Journal All Conversations

You should journal conversations on access and custody matters. If you are having a video or voice conversation, you should let them know that you are recording it. All emails shall be printed. Similarly, screenshots of text messages should be saved. All requests sent by certified mail should have copies and return receipts. Good documentation means a favorable decision by the family court.

 

No Mistake By Father Is Small

If you think your children's father has done something harmful to kids, it should get attention. If there has been any physical, verbal, or written aggression towards you, that should be documented as well. Family courts will take every mistake into account while issuing a custody decision.  

 

External Communications

When you speak to a provider about activities, child care, education, or medical care, you should involve your children's father in it. A genuine effort to be a co-parent will earn you points in the family court.  

 

Watch Your Words

Your casual conversations with a friend, emails, social media posts, and text messages can be used against you in court. Watch what you say. Anything negative can hurt your chances to have access and custody of your kids.

 

No Negativity With Kids

Always be positive with kids regardless of how unhappy are you with their father. Tell kids how good their dad is and the skills he has. Kids will tell their father about whatever you say. It will smooth the relationship between you and your co-parent. Also, if the judge decides to interview your children, it can work in your favor.

 

Kids Deserve Love

When your kids are with their co-parent, tell them that you love them and can't wait to see them again. Plan some activities ahead of time and tell them. They will look forward to spending time with you.

 

No Substance Abuse

Family courts are known to frown upon alcoholics or drug addict parents. If required, go to rehab. It will firm up your chances to have access to your children.

 

Good Mental Health

A fight for child custody can add additional stress. Be proactive about your mental health. Speak to a therapist to resolve any issues that bother you. A judge may require a mental evaluation of both parents before deciding on custody.

 

Healthy Body Healthy Mind

During a divorce, some women are prone to overeating. It can result in obesity and other health issues. A court will decide against a sick parent. Hire a dietician or a fitness coach if needed. Meditate to build a better focus on eating healthy and staying fit.

 

Financial House

Your financial house should be clean. If required, hire some help to deal with financial matters. Stay away from gambling. The court will look at your financial records to determine if you can take care of children while in your custody. 

 

Shared Expenses

You might be receiving child support, but shared expenses are not only your co-parent's responsibility. You will have to contribute towards kids' activities and medical co-pay. Track all payments you have made and save copies of bank statements, direct deposits, and returned checks. 

 

Stay Out of Jail

Staying out of jail is the key to keeping access and custody of your children. Stay out of trouble.

 

Place Passport Restrictions

Your children's father may be at a flight risk with your kids. You can deter that by putting restrictions on your children's passports. You might need to get a court order to do so.

 

Write A Parenting Plan

Write a parenting plan to demonstrate how you will be spending time with your kids. Make a complete list of family and friends you will be enlisting to take care of your kids while they are in your custody. A well-documented plan with a list of activities and a schedule can show that you can look after your kids while they are with you.

 

25 Tips for Mothers Seeking Custody

1. Remain Calm: It is essential for any mother vying for child custody to remain calm and level-headed. The court is likely to view any display of hostility or anger extremely negatively. Keeping a cool head will demonstrate that you have your child’s best interests in mind and will go a long way to improving your chances.
2. Start as Early as Possible: Once you become aware that you are at risk of losing your child’s custody, you should act quickly and begin the process straight away. This will give you enough time to compile evidence that shows that you are the best choice for your child’s custodian.
3. Conduct an Initial Assessment: It is important to conduct an initial assessment to assess your chances of winning prior to actually entering a court hearing. This is an important step because it can help you to identify any weak aspects of your case which can be strengthened at a later date.
4. Invest in Legal Support: You may also want to consider investing in legal representation to ensure that your case is as strong as possible. A skilled and experienced lawyer will be able to advise on the best course of action to take depending on the specifics of your case.
5. Hire a Private Investigator: If the other parent has evidence that may disadvantage your case, it is a good idea to hire a private investigator to obtain evidence that counters those objections. This can be extremely helpful in turning the situation back in your favor.
6. Write a Will: Investing in a will is essential for any mother looking to win custody of their child. This will make sure that any assets you have are in your child’s name, which could be extremely beneficial if the other parent decides to use them against you during the custody battle.
7. Document Everything: It is important to document absolutely everything that takes place between you and the other parent. This includes emails, text messages, phone calls and more. This can be used to your advantage if the other parent denies certain aspects of the conversations.
8. Remain Respectful: It is essential that you remain respectful while communicating with the other parent. Refrain from arguing or discussing any sensitive topics in case it is used against you in court. Your conduct is being closely monitored and can easily be used to undermine your case.
9. Refrain from Posting on Social Media: Social media activity should also be minimized while undergoing a custody battle as it could be used against you. The court can access any information shared on the internet and this could be used to detract from your case.
10. Avoid Making Hasty Decisions: Do not make any hasty decisions without consulting your lawyer first. Seemingly small decisions can have serious implications if not done correctly. Your lawyer will be able to give the best advice for any major decision making.
11. Consider Mental Health: It is also important to consider your own mental health during such a stressful time. This will ensure that your court performance is at its best and will go a long way towards strengthening your case.
12. Strengthen Your Relationship With Your Kids: It is important to take the time to strengthen your relationship with your kids. This will demonstrate to the court that the bond between yourself and your children is strong. Make sure to stay in constant communication and make an effort to visit them regularly.
13. Keep Track Of Your Financial Records: It is a good idea to keep track of your financial records. This will be beneficial during the custody battle as it will demonstrate that you are able to provide the necessary support for your kids.
14. Take Part in Parenting Classes: It is important to consider taking part in parenting classes. This will demonstrate that you are serious about learning how to raise children and that you are willing to take the necessary steps in order to do so.
15. Make Changes to Your Home: It is important to make changes to your home to make sure that it is completely child-friendly. Make sure to remove any hazardous objects, establish rules and expectations, and make sure that there are toys, games and activities available.
16. Show That You Are Flexible: It is important to demonstrate that you are the more flexible and accommodating parent. Try to be open to any proposed plan from the other parent and take part in any necessary negotiations. This will show the court that you are willing to compromise and do what is best for your children.
17. Prove That You Are Committed: You must demonstrate that you are committed to raising your children and that you understand the significance of such an undertaking. You should be prepared to clearly state why you think you should have custody and what measures you have taken to ensure the wellbeing of your children.
18. Demonstrate Your Ability to Co-Parent: It is important to demonstrate that you can co-parent with the other parent if necessary. This will go a long way to improving your chances of a positive outcome as it is indicative of your willingness to work together for the benefit of the children.
19. Provide Evidence: You may want to consider providing evidence that supports your case. This could include letters from friends and family, medical information, financial information, and any other relevant documents.
20. Reassure the Judge: It is important to make sure that you reassure the judge of your commitment to providing a stable home environment for the children. Make sure to clearly state what measures you are taking to ensure that their needs are met.
21. Explain Your Involvement in Your Children’s Lives: Explain your involvement in your children’s lives and make sure to back it up with evidence. This could include participation in school events, extracurricular activities, and any other activities where you are actively involved in your children’s development.
22. Research Your State’s Laws: It is important to familiarize yourself with your state’s laws when it comes to custody arrangements. This will give you a better idea of the factors that the court is likely to consider when making a decision and will help to prepare you for any legal discussions that may take place.
23. Gather Witnesses: Collecting witnesses to support your case can be beneficial. These could include teachers, coaches, or anyone else who has witnessed your interaction with your children.
24. Consult with a Mental Health Professional: Speaking with a mental health professional can be beneficial as they may be able to provide further insight into your situation. This could provide insight into aspects of your parenting that could be burdensome to the court.
25. Refrain from Making False Accusations: It is important not to make false or exaggerated accusations to the court. This type of behavior will damage your credibility and could seriously downgrade your chances of success. Following these tips can help to improve your chances of winning the custody battle. However, it is always important to consult a qualified legal professional to provide the best possible advice. Make sure to research all available support and information in order to prepare yourself for any eventuality.

 

Related:

Splitting expenses with your ex

Tips for financial success after divorce

Finance matters during divorce

Divorce settlement mistakes

Credit repair after divorce

Protecting credit during divorce

Financial Help for Divorce Women

How to co-parent with a narcissist

Long distance co-parenting techniques

 

Warning:  This post is neither financial, health, legal, or personal advice nor a substitute for the advice offered by a professional. These are serious matters, and the help of a professional is recommended as it can impact your future.